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Author: Molly E. Lee Releasing: May 7, 2019
I am going to write this review in the order that I discovered all the important aspects of this book in my notes because it is so powerful and empowering that missing a single detail would be a disservice to it and anyone considering picking up this book for a read.
TW: Sexual Assault
Toxic Masculinity
Let's start with the main points. This book literally revolves around women. Women in STEM, women's choice over their bodies, schools micromanaging the sexual lives of said women, gender bias in the classroom and in society, etc... the reason I mention this is because I didn't expect that from the book at all, which is what made it brilliant.
Molly E. Lee manages to tackle subjects that are relevant, in a manner that leaves the reader feeling understood, embraced, and educated while still allowing space to have moments of banter and a powerful meet-cute.
the reason I continued reading late into the night is that in between all of its lines , the book teaches about consent. It teaches about how harmful it can be when a school does not have a proper inclusive sex-ed program. Abstinence-only needs to stop being the answer. Teens have questions, even if you don't give it to them they will find the answer, on the internet, in videos, access is everywhere. Wouldn't it be safer if it came from you, a person they can trust?
I was very lucky that my mom knew I loved to read and that my world was shaped by them. When I turned 12 my mother bought me a book titled sex for adolescents and told me that she knew that I would understand it better if I read it. She wasn't going to give me the talk but in exchange, she left the door wide open and said: "Ask me anything". She gave me a safe space to talk about the heavy things and the light things and I am still surrounded by it to this day. In case you doubted me here is the book below:
It is so old at this point that it is expensive to get in print and the cover is in Spanish because I was born and raised in Puerto Rico. Having access to this information didn't make me want to have sex early, it only meant that when I did decide to take that responsibility I was prepared and knew how to keep myself safe. I knew right from wrong. Ask me anything makes a point to also let teenagers out there know that having a support system is important, whether it's family or "the circle" as it is referred to in the book. People you can trust, people you turn to in times of trouble, people who are there for you.
I love that she chose to portray a mother-daughter relationship that is so open because in books the kid always has some beef with their parents. However, I related even more to the book because the relationship she portrayed is one I have with my mom, honest and supportive. Don't get me wrong trying to tell my mom about birth control when I was 22 was equally as daunting as every teenager knows or will come to experience, but I knew she wouldn't lose her marbles over it. Not only because of my age but because she'd made it clear she wanted me to be safe since I was 12.
Part 2: Relationships
Ask me anything is all about loving a person for who they are, but it also goes into some daunting situations that girls may encounter in the process. Seeing Amber (MC) deal with the expectations that the men she dated had for her, as if she owed them something, like sex is required to be intimate was slightly triggering. It is such a notion that the toxic masculinity in this book brought me to tears. There's not much of it but what's there feels real. One line specifically:
"You were my girlfriend, you were not supposed to say no to me"
is the defense her ex-boyfriend uses to excuse the sexual assault that left Amber in a body that she thought was lost and damaged. The sad thing is that many girls and women still go through that today and this is still the excuse, but we all know that is not how it works. We own our bodies, we don't owe them to no one, even if we were smack in the middle of the action and said no, it should be the end of it.
What's even more beautiful is that Amber recovers from this in her own way, on her own time and on the way she meets Dean and the powerful meet-cute begins. Powerful because its selfless, understanding, encouraging. They are both hackers, they are both computer science students, but they are equal. Throughout the book, Dean recognizes over and over that she doesn't need him, that while he lends her a bit of strength, she has always managed to stand on her own.
A sex-positive consensual scene between the MC's was the most powerful of the book yet, not only did she share it with someone who knew her secrets, who loved her despite them, but it was on her own terms. She wanted to reclaim the body she felt she'd lost, to reclaim her past, to be touched by someone who respected her. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't mine either.
This book is so much about standing up for what's right, defending each other, instead of tearing each other down. A book that was powerful in a way I have never encountered before.
Rating: 5/5 ❤❤❤❤❤
This book needs to be read by all teenagers out there because it is a story, a sex-ed class, a romance, an education in consent, and a girl with a dream all wrapped up in one. If there is ever a book that deserved to be labeled YA it is this one. I enjoyed it as an adult but it could make so much of a difference for students and teenagers everywhere. Take a chance on reading it, and you'll know what I mean.