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Author: Abigail de Niverville
I have a weakness for Shakespeare and if I am honest it is the main reason this book caught my eye. The author shared a post on twitter about her book being a YA contemporary with a sprinkle of Hamlet, and bi-sexual and lesbian rep. I'll admit she had me at hamlet but I'm also a sucker for #ownvoices books and representation. So here we go!
The Story
I Knew Him follows Julian who is just trying to make it through the last year of school pretending to be straight so he doesn't have to deal with explaining to people how he feels. His plan is to survive the year and then run away to university and tell the world who he is. He means everyone but his mom and best friend. Those are two conversations he doesn't want to have. However, there is just a slight glitch in his plans and his name is Sky.
I love that Sky and Julian's relationship takes time to develop, I appreciated that their internal struggles were not erased just because they liked each other. Their relationship is healthy, based on understanding, respect, and not diminishing each other's experiences based on their own. Sky is out and Julian is not, and we get to see how that plays out in an honest an open conversation between the reader and Julian, but most importantly we see Julian grow and understand who he is and why it matters, and why his happiness matters more than all the secrets he wasn't willing to share with the world.
Coming to the end of the book really left me feeling like I was Julian and I had grown. That we had finished this journey together, that we loved, doubted, cried, shared so many things but that at the end we made it!
Fun Details
The Shakespeare references in this book are so well timed and spread throughout the book that it gave my Shakespearean heart life. Julian and Sky's relationship is a slow burn romance and man does he keep you at the edge of the seat, feeling butterflies, every time Sky is around. That is the main attraction of this book, it engages you in a way that you feel that his story is yours too, and you just want to keep discovering yourself in it.
Let's talk about representation
Rep that can be found in this book: Lesbian rep, Bi-sexual rep, and Gay-Filipino rep
I loved that Abigail decided to showcase more than one person's coming out experience, it really gives you some perspective about how different individuals handle this moment and why or why not they choose to share it with some people and not others. It also discusses what it means to be an ally and touches on what a safe place looks like for someone struggling with their sexuality.
I was also so excited to find out that Sky was Filipino! Where I used to work there were many gay Filipinos who worked with me and one of the reasons they worked for the company, was that within the walls of our ship they were safe. They could be anyone they wanted to. Sometimes being home for them didn't necessarily mean safe. So, they would lose their mind if they heard there is a story written with a main character that is and feels like them. Sometimes non-own voices authors erase the identity of a character and all we learn about them is that they are gay or part of the community. However, it is so important that their identities are visible in stories like this because the LGBTQIA+ community is so diverse, and it is a disservice to continue telling the same story, considering that there are so many other experiences out there.
Let's talk about real experiences
This book gives words to the many feelings that someone struggling to come to terms with themselves could encounter. Don't get me wrong, not everyone has a scary coming out experience or story to tell, but some people still do. Abigail touches on some of these experiences like bi-phobia, involuntary outing of their sexuality, abuse in a previous relationship and homophobic parents. A person not believing what you feel is real, being outed before you are ready or having your parent look at you differently because of what you just shared could be devastating. Navigating these waters with Julian (MC) really puts you smack in the middle of his experiences and the consequences of them.
Rating 5/5 ❤❤❤❤❤
This book is an ode to being yourself, a reminder that your happiness and well-being matters. A book that provides insight into experiences that some people might not know of. Abigail educates readers while telling us a beautiful coming of age story. She's created a safe place for all the humans out there out or not that may be seeking a book that speaks to them. I hope in the future stories like these continue being told.
Grab your own copy of I Knew Him:
Universal Buy Link: http://books2read.com/u/bMZNeV
NineStar Press: https://ninestarpress.com/product/i-knew-him/